Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Little slice of death


I have a hidden super-power. Anytime, anyplace, anyhow, I can fall asleep if I choose to.

This has decided advantages in the unlikely situation I was to confine myself voluntarily for a couple of days at a stretch in a rumbling shaking box with no means of lying horizontally, with nothing to do except stare at the drunked sod behind me or the pregnant-seeming-fat lumberjack in front, surrounded by mind-numbing silence periodically punctuated at all hours by ethereal announcements by crazed pantry stewards with little English and equally little to offer a vegetarian.

Well, actually, I have to say it isn't really that bad. I mean, all the above is true and does happen. But still and all, I'm thoroughly enjoying myself. After all, I can sleep.

I've rediscovered Zeno's paradox. Here's how my version goes.

Hmm, I'm still half-asleep, after sleeping in this neck-bent position for twelve hours. Shall I get up? And do what, I wonder... Let me think about that a bit... Nope, still no ideas. Hey, lookit that, another half-hour has gone by. So if I lie like this for another hour, I'll beat my previous record. Oh, there's the announcement for lunch - maybe that's a reason to get up? Well, if I didn't get up for breakfast, I really shouldn't for lunch - wouldn't be fair.

And so it goes, when I'm on the train. Good stuff. Try it sometime.


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